Computer jokes Jokes Funny Computer jokes Jokes
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There are 156 Computer jokes Jokes in this category.
Do you turn on your computer with from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
"Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?" " My right hand." " Amazing!Most people have to use the on/off switch."
"Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?" " My right hand." " Amazing!Most people have to use the on/off switch."
A confused caller was having troubles printing from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it ''could not find the printer.'' The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printerbut his computer still could not 'see' the printer.
A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it ''could not find the printer.'' The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printerbut his computer still could not 'see' the printer.
How many technical writers does it take from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.
How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.
How many IBM employees does it take from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
How many IBM employees does it take to change a light bulb? Fifteen. Five to do it, and ten to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank".
How many IBM employees does it take to change a light bulb? Fifteen. Five to do it, and ten to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank".
How many Java programmers does it take from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb? One, to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.
How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb? One, to generate a "ChangeLightBulb" event to the socket.
How many C programmers does it take from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? "You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? "You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"
How many maintenance programmers does it take from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
How many maintenance programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They try to fix the old one. "We looked at the light fixture and decided there's no point trying to maintain it. We're going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?"
How many maintenance programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They try to fix the old one. "We looked at the light fixture and decided there's no point trying to maintain it. We're going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?"
A software verifier read in the Bible from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
A software verifier read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"
A software verifier read in the Bible that God protects all fools, and decided to test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: "I never really considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!"
The problem with physicists is that they from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.
The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.
The programmer to his son Here I from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
They say that the new super computer from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is my father?" The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with "Your father is fishing in Michigan." The skeptical man said triumphantly, "You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years." "No", replied the super computer immediately. "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."
They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is my father?" The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with "Your father is fishing in Michigan." The skeptical man said triumphantly, "You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years." "No", replied the super computer immediately. "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."
Why all Pascal programmers ask to live from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis? Because it is below C level.
Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis? Because it is below C level.
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
Once a programmer drowned in the sea from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
A system programmer came home from work from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G.O.O.D" answered his wife.
A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G.O.O.D" answered his wife.
How do you keep a programmer in from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
Why do programmers always get Christmas and from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
The attention span of a computer is from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
My computer isnt that nervous Its just from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.
My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.
Computers make very fast very accurate mistakes from Flashcomment Computer jokes Jokes
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
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